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December 6, 2010

Road Trip America, Pit Stop #2: Nashville to Fort Smith, AZ Via Memphis (cont.)

Ok, there wasn't really "nothing."  There was something, but nothing I care to see again. We decided to hit up Graceland along the way and hope to get some Memphis BBQ.   I cannot express how much we deeply regret this.

If you're passing through Memphis and think to yourself "I have to see Graceland", just tell the voices in your head to shut up. Graceland is the pits. No joke. I thought it was some beautiful estate kept as a shrine to the King in the beautiful countryside. It is quite the opposite. (This is why you need to do more research, kids.) Graceland is in the, well, less-than-desirable section of town, let's just say. It's pawn shop strip-mall after strip-mall and the famed "Elvis Presly Boulevard" is riddled with potholes that will surely rip the chassis right off your car. My husband said "this can't be right" just about the time we arrived at the parking entrance of Graceland ($10. Ten-frickin-dollars to park in an empty parking lot in the ghetto that looked more deserted than Wally World.) I immediately felt depressed. This place clearly was not reminiscent of the glamour and glory of the old days of Elvis. In fact, I'm quite positive the King would roll over in his grave and throw fried peanut butter-banana sandwiches in the faces of all that now run this place. To top it all off, we never saw the mansion. The standard tour is $30/person (no dogs, obvi) and I had already decided I was uncomfortable enough with this place to not stay. I would love, however, to meet the person who shells out $69/person for the deluxe mansion tour. What the hell could you possibly see to make walking in an old house where someone once lived worth it?

Anyways, I ran inside the ticket area/gift shop to see what the deal was and was dead set on at least getting me some Elvis sunglasses to make the $10 parking worth it. Nope. All they had were super cheap-looking shiny plastic sunglasses for $25. I feel like those should be free w/parking at this hell hole. (*NOTE: I apologize if you are from here and love it. God speed or something nice.  I heard it used to be lovely.)

So...long story long, we got out of Graceland w/in 10 minutes. (That's a dollar a minute for anyone counting.) We set off to grab some Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives BBQ nearby. No chance. I wasn't stopping anywhere near there. We opted for a bag of Doritos we had in the car and kept driving to Fort Smith, AK. In case you haven't taken this drive, there isn't much to see other than flat fields spotted with the occasional Jesus sign. We were entertained by downloading Aziz Ansari standup from iTunes. (Love him- hilarious.) It was a quiet, peaceful section of road, but left us with zero fun food options.

So, I'm sad to say I have no good food stories to report from day 2 of my Road Trip America. Tomorrow we're passing through Oklahoma City on to Amarillo, TX. From what I've read, we should definitely catch some great sites and great eats as we begin to hit the old Route 66. I'll keep my fingers crossed and keep you posted!


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